The Think FLEXibly Blog
Some ideas anyone can benefit from. Our blog is intended to provide current and future clients some ideas and resources that we think are great.
Author: Michael Decaire In honour of Star Wars day (May the 4th be with you!), FLEX is featuring a look at mindfulness trainings in popular culture throughout the month of May. And the series continues ...
No. Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. - Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back, 1980). Pretty much everyone has heard this quote. At the same time, most have probably assumed it is synonymous with saying "don't accept defeat" or that persistence will pay off in the end. While I do not claim to have the inside scoop on Yoda's motivations, I suspect that the intention here was not to infer the concepts of effortlessness and non-judgement. Effortlessness is not synonymous with laziness, but instead relates to a lack of narrow intention during mindfulness practice. If you anchor yourself on "trying" to do something there is a possibility of failure. Either way, the result of trying is undoubtedly that it worked or it did not work. An opposing way to look at this would be to simply acknowledge or observe that this happened, it did not, or something in between occurred. There is no judgement here, this is simply an observation or reflection of what happened. An example: If my mind is busy and I am finding the thoughts overwhelming or distracting I may choose to do a sitting meditation where my attention is at least part of the time on my breath. If I "try" to keep my attention on my breath the entire time I will undoubtedly fail and may very well perceive the meditation practice as a failure as well. If I simply "do" a mindfulness of breath practice I will be sometimes have my attention on my breath and I will sometimes not. This exact example is one of the first barriers I observe when training my clients mindfulness (e.g., "I tried that, it did not work"). When conceptualized in a framework of "try", the fact that I was not always able to sustain my attention on my breathing inherently implies that I failed. When conceptualized within a framework of "do or do not", I am simply acknowledging what happened in the present moment. Now, some of you are likely saying this is simply an argument in semantics and that what I'm really doing is choosing to not judge myself (which is also an important mindfulness lesson), but the key here is effortlessness versus intention. If I simply "do" something and observe what happened there is no possibility of failure. If I "try" to do something and I do not succeed then I have undoubtedly failed. In the end, I'll admit there is a bit of a semantics argument going on here. Still, we examine and describe our world and experience in words. A shift in how we interpret these experiences is the anchor of many therapies and is undoubtedly part of a mindfulness practice. I have personally found that having a good "vocabulary of mindfulness" is one of the keys to my personal training and is often how I transmit these tools to my clients. This can come from a mindfulness teacher, therapist, or a self-help book, but as you will see over the rest of this month, it can also come from the world around us (and from a galaxy far far away). Do or do not return in a few days for another pop culture mindfulness training. - Michael Author: Michael Decaire In honour of Star Wars day (May the 4th be with you!), FLEX will be featuring a look at mindfulness trainings in popular culture throughout the month of May. We will start off the series with some trainings from one of the original pop-culture Mindfulness gurus, Yoda.
Named must your fear be before banish it you can. - Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back, 1980). Many people mistakenly believe that mindfulness practice and mediation is about clearing your mind of strong emotions. This would suggest that there is some active attempt to suppress or push away these types of thoughts. Placing too much active energy towards any aspect of meditation is really the opposite goal in mindfulness and will undoubtedly lead to frustration (just another emotion to attempt to gain control over!). Instead, mindfulness practice has a lot more to do with simply observing one's emotions as they rise and fall during a formal meditation practice or less formally when we go about our day. Being able to simply observe these emotions can be facilitated by labelling. Recognizing that something is simply a positive or nourishing thought, a negative or depleting one, or by a more specific label (e.g. a judgement thought, anger, or fear) allows us to step away from the emotional experience itself and facilitates an observer role. With no real effort, this can lead to eureka moments that can consciously guide our future behaviour (e.g. Hmm look at that. This happened and then I felt this way), may allow one to step out of a chain of strong emotions, or may simply prove to be just an interesting exercise in knowing oneself a bit better. Join us back here in a few days with a few more wise teachings from Yoda or feel free to contact our team to discuss how Mindfulness training may also be able to help you manage strong emotions. - Michael Author: Michael Decaire Mindfulness is about being in the moment. A great deal of the tension we experience arguably comes from when we are stuck in the past (e.g., regret; rumination) or when we are over focusing on the future (e.g., worried and overwhelmed). One of the risks is that we do not fully let go of previous moments and we move onto the next one. Before we know it, we have chained together dozens of "moments" and the stress of each of these, which was not very big at the time, has culminated into something much larger. We've been working with some of our clients on the idea of transitions. Examining the number of transitions once faces in a day is quite telling and allows us to recognize when a pasts moments baggage can start impacting the present. Brief meditations and body scans can help to transition into awareness in the morning and into rest when we go to sleep. Throughout the day, shorter mindful "moments" may be of benefit as we take a few breaths as we move from one task or activity to the next. Consider focusing on your breath for a few moments and simply counting when you have completed each inhale and exhale without having your mind wander. Try to make it to three without losing your focus and ruminating on the past or worry about the future. If you do not make it to three, start over. Do not judge yourself, even I have trouble getting to three every so often. This little activity can help you come to new tasks and new interactions with fresh eyes and your full focused attention. Why not try it between job tasks or before lunch. Coming from school or the office can be one of the biggest transitions in our day. Bringing the days baggage home can harm our self-worth, our relationships, and may derail us from getting things done that we need to do (e.g., homework or housework). Below, I've included a guided meditation to walk you through a small lesson and practice in being in the moment and transitioning well. Author: Michael Decaire A very enlightened 17 year old once shared with me a metaphor that he felt described his sources of tensions (I'm paraphrasing as I did not anticipate the enlightened moment he was about to share with me): "I have spent much of my adolescence sitting on a bus, either looking out the back window ruminating about where I have been or out the front window worrying about where I'm going. Mindfulness meditation has taught me to look out the side of the bus and simply experience where I am now." The more you get into the concept of mindfulness the more that metaphor will really mean to you. I do not know if he came to that thought himself or if someone had shared it with him, but it is a remarkable statement none the less and really captures how failing to be in the current moment in time means we are often being driven by tension or stress about the future or suffering regarding to the past. Below is a brief 5 to 6 minute breathing and focusing meditation intended to take you out of the past/present and into the moment. After you've tried this, why not try moving onto something you want to get done, by working on it one step (or present moment) at a time, moving forward by simply acting in the moment. Author: Michael Decaire Mindful.org is a non-profit online resource for the mindfulness community. It is a secular resource that includes a number of fantastic and brief reports relating to how individual's can incorporate mindfulness into their life in different ways. While I was aware of the website, I was unaware that they had launched a traditional paper magazine.
Now in it's second issue, "Mindful" is a reasonably priced magazine examining how the practice of pausing (through meditation or other means) and then acting in a manner that facilitates the ability to fully leveraging your brain in a focused and strategic fashion can impact peoples lives in a multitude of ways. The magazine is like Psychology Today without all the flash and noise (which is a very mindful way to present itself). If you are interested in how to incorporate mindfulness into your life it is worth a read. Subscriptions are available in print here and for iPad here. |
DisclaimerThe information provided on the Think FLEXibly Blog is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered as therapeutic advice. |